War Memorial Park |
Water fun - Elena and Juliana are in the foreground |
"Too bad, so sad" - Granddad |
Three girls at the top of the water slide |
Three girls come tumbling out |
Elena dressed in camoflauge for this nature hike |
Feeling and expressing gratitude.
Memorial Day
is the United States is a holiday in which we express our gratitude and honor
those who have passed on for their contributions to our lives. This is also a
day when we honor and remember the sacrifices of those servicemen and women who
gave their lives in defense of our country and the values it represents.
What is gratitude? How does it relate to happiness, coping, and well-being?
Psychologist Michael McCullough of the University of Miami has researched on how
gratitude works in our lives.
Gratitude is an overall tendency to
recognize the contributions of others to the good things that are happening in
our lives. Feeling grateful is experienced as a pleasant and positive emotion.
More than an emotion, more than a
mood; gratitude is a habitual way of looking at the world. To his surprise,
McCullough found that gratitude isn’t related to daily events but more a framed
attitude of appreciation for life in general.
Grateful people see gifts in the
trivial and mundane. Highly grateful people possess a world view in which
everything they have - even life itself - are gifts. They don’t take the little
things of life for granted.
McCullough’s research shows that
grateful people:- recognize when good things happen to them.
- feel gratitude more intensely when something good happens.
- feel gratitude many times during the day for the simplest acts of kindness or politeness.
- feel grateful for a number of things at any one time. They feel grateful for their families, jobs, health, and friends, along with the specific positive benefits they perceive.
- see how the efforts of others contribute to their happiness. Not only that, but they also make the connection between how many people’s efforts contribute to the good outcomes in their lives.
Less grateful people focus narrowly on just one or two people for the same outcome. Grateful people don’t discount their own efforts. They stretch their appreciation to include other causes and contributions for their success.
- are more empathic. They are more agreeable. They display a greater willingness
to forgive and not hold on to hurts and resentments.
- are more spiritual. Their ability to see the contributions of others to their
lives is also extended to God and God’s intervention. This isn’t true for the
negative events in their lives.McCullough found that gratitude isn’t confined to those with formalized religious faith but is also shared by those who have a sense of the divine and spirituality in the Universe and believe in the interconnection of all living things.
- experience less depression and
anxiety. McCullough points out that we can
consciously elevate our moods by cultivating and expressing gratitude.
- are more optimistic, hopeful and
more socially engaging. They feel
happy.
- are better able to cope with acute
and chronic stressful life events.
Gratitude might be the mediating factor that explains why religious people have
better physical and mental health outcomes when faced with a health crisis.
- are not as envious. Grateful people don’t find happiness in material things,
influence, power or sex appeal. They don’t judge their worth by worldly
standards. They are less envious and resentful of another’s success and
possessions. Grateful people compare themselves to those less fortunate than
themselves.
- are judged by others as kind,
warm-hearted and generous with their resources. Not only do they see people being good to them but they
also notice another’s plight, and are more sympathetic and helpful.
In the
cemeteries of Denmark, there is a common epitaph on the headstones,
"Tak", which means "thanks." What a wonderful word to
express the gift of their lives and express to all who come to remember them.
If they lived with a thankful heart, they had a good life."Tak" - Mongolia -"Bayarthla" |
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